Workplace Humor By Iquo B. Essien, The AFRican Blogger
Published on Mon, Jul 23 2007 by Iquo Essien
I'm dying in here. You know, to make my money (cause this magazine is not quite profitable yet) I do freelance medical editing at pharma advertising and continuing medical education firms. I would go more in depth with an explanation, but, to be perfectly honest, I don't give a hot dayum what I do as long as I can leave by 5:30PM. Explaining it would only bore you and give you something else to file in that "things-I-never-needed-to-know" section of your brains.
Ah, yes. Cut to me, sharing a ten-by-ten, windowless room with another freelancer, John (or is it Jim? see another bit of info I don't really care to know!), working on a fact checking job. First of all, John (or Jim) was soaking wet this morning, said he got caught in the torrential downpour. His editing style guide was laying open on the table, air drying, and I could see myself walking into a train wreck.
He looks to be in his late forties, early fifties, which can be fine, but he's that guy who has no idea how to use any computer programs and needs to ask basic questions like how to search for words on a page or use the highlighter in MS Word. Thank God there are no windows in this office, or I would have jumped by now!
If there's one thing I hate more than entitled white men, or those Afrophiles who frequent the continent as a means of assuaging white guilt, it's the confused ones that need constant support and validation. (Ok, for the record, let me add POOR white men to that list. You know what, dayum! A handful of white men possess most of the money in the world. I know the ills of the rich shouldn't be visited on the rest of society, but I just can't bring myself to part with a quarter for even the most wretched of them! LOL. But really, I'm serious.)
EVERY FIVE MINUTES John/Jim has another question. "Hey, real quick, last question...if you're doing a search for a word and the document is ten pages long, and the term shows up on page ten, are we to assume that it doesn't appear on pages 1-9?" This is a real question he just asked me!! And he needed me to explain how to do a fact check like three times! Then he actually called our supervisor to look up a word for him on the internet, before realizing he could just click on the Internet explorer icon on his desktop (we've been sitting at our computers for five hours). This is ridiculous. He is ridiculous.
Well, long story short, I'm gonna need a stiff drink when I get home, and there is no way I'm sharing a room with this disaster tomorrow. It may be a tough bag being a black woman, having to work twice as hard to prove yourself at everything, but two things I mos def have over John (or Jim?) are competence and common sense. I was a bit wet myself this morning, but I never go anywhere without an umbrella in NYC and I wear short skirts and sandals on days like today to prevent me from ruining my clothes (skin dries quicker than fabric). And I'm so glad I grew up during the information age if for no other reason than a computer is not a foreign object. If this situation weren't so tragic, it would be hiLARious.
But you know who really is funny? Naija/Brit comedienne Gina Yashere. I was up late last night watching Last Comic Standing online, and I came across her set. BRILLIANT! Really. Check out the vids below. Should help you get through the most mind-numbingly insipid workday. I literally couldn't even finish watching the Mrs. Omokorede segments because I was dying laughing...
The AFRican Blogger
P.S. Be sure to support Gina on Last Comic Standing. I wanna see a Naija win! Y'all know we're funny as hell... ;)
P.P.S. Cut to me, blogging when I'm supposed to be working. Yes, I am GETTING OVER ON THE MAN. I try to do a little sumptin in dat regard every day...anyways, I'm way too tired to get any real work done.
P.P.P.S. Okay, this is the last one, I promise. He just asked, "Hey, how do I close this window without it disappearing?" It's called MINIMIZE! LOL. The problem is way deeper than I first suspected...
Gina Yashere as Mrs. Omokorede, the pushy mum, from the Lenny Henry Show