Falling in love is one of the most beautiful things ever. By “falling in love” here I mean the popular phenomenon that has two people fawning over each other, making happy animal sounds at each other for the first few months they start dating, that has them talking for long periods over the phone like nothing else matters but the person on the other end of the phone.
Love makes people do stupid things like dance and kiss in the rain. It’s what inspired some of the most popular songs ever written. When you fall in love, you’re sure that you’ve never seen eyes are dark brown as his and you’ve never heard a soprano voice as rich as hers. His imperfections are what make him perfect and all her flaws are really evidence that she’s flawless. Love keeps you up at night thanking God for this new girl. And, girl, it makes your heart beat faster how he pauses in the middle of a busy mall to kiss your forehead—his stamp, his public declaration, that means “You’re mine”.
It’s beautiful and it makes you brim with hope, this love thing. If you’re anything like me, you dream of a wedding with this walking slice of heaven. You’ve heard it said that no relationship is perfect and you know it somewhere in your head that it is true but you’ve never experienced it first-hand so you don’t give it much thought. You don’t want to think that you could ever have an angry or hateful thought about this beautiful man—this man that makes your heart flutter. So you think: yes, we will fight but I will be in love with him even in the angry moments.
Falling out of love doesn’t happen as quickly as falling in love does. Maybe because you’re fighting to hold on to the burning intensity you felt at the very beginning. The fire is dying out and nothing you can do will make it burn brighter. You look into deep dark brown eyes and you notice that you saw browner eyes four days ago. PDA makes you uncomfortable now. The kisses are cold, unfeeling, obligatory. The imperfections no longer make him darling; they just make him him. They make him the man you swore awhile back would always make your head fuzzy. They make her the woman you promised would have the funniest jokes you will ever hear. But things change, the world starts revolving again, life starts to happen and that’s how you fall out of love.
But love, in reality and in the actual sense of the word, is not a rush of blood to the head, it’s not butterflies and it’s not the fuzzy feeling in your head. Love is realising that both of you will fall back to earth. Love is choosing to fall together, hanging tightly to each other for dear life. It’s wrapping arms tightly around each other, melding into each other when infatuation’s fire dies. This disillusioned phase—the inbetween -- has the power to melt two hearts into one or it could be the force field that repels them.