City Life: Living Alone Is Underrated In African societies that insist on early marriage, there are few things a young woman would cherish more than being able to live by herself.

City Life: Living Alone Is Underrated

Published on Thu, Jan 16 2014 by Web Master

Living alone in a society that encourages us to be married “early enough” is underrated. In fact, everything involving blissful solitude is. I doubt there is anything quite like waking up to cream-colored walls and décor you picked out yourself, like watching Eat. Pray. Love as many times as you want without judgment, like spending whole days in your pajamas, like not worrying if your breakfast will be undercooked this time. You never worry about that because, when you feel like cooking, you caress each onion bulb like it’s a new lover and you flirt with garlic cloves like they are “the one”. Nothing else matters when you’re in your zone with the ingredients you love. There’s no pressure if the food doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped it would because, there’s no one to measure your “wife materialness” by that.
Alone you can dreamily sing in the shower for hours—you’re paying your bills anyway. Alone? You don’t have to deal with someone else’s bad work day that they won’t readily talk about but hope you will shove it out of them (at 11 p.m.). Alone you name your pet Heff because you can, then you proceed to spoil it silly. Alone you don’t ignore your looks like people expect ‘alone people’ to, you load your wardrobe up and your dressing table is filled with the most interesting hair and body products. You’re glowing and you know it. It means you can lots of spend time with the many people in your life without guilt. Living alone means you can use all your extra house space for the things you love. A library? Check. Studio? Check. Gym? Office space? Check. Check.
However, living alone can be painfully lonely sometimes like living with people/someone else can also be. You’ve come to terms with that; you understand that sometimes living alone will mean loneliness. No one tells you how lonely it can get mostly because they don’t know it for themselves—they’ve never been down this road before. Living alone may mean you will have loved ones stay over in your personal space longer than they said they would (hey, you love them still). Living alone will mean that there’ll be none to be vulnerable with when you need to have an intimate late night conversation, none to cry to when the words refuse to form. It means you will wander your slice of heaven at 3 a.m. looking for something engaging/distracting to do and will find none. ‘Alone’ sometimes means late nights out avoiding home, sometimes means dragging that conversation out for longer than you normally would. Heff is a really great dog, but sometimes you just need to talk to someone of your specie. You live through these times gracefully knowing full well that the next day might be the day you jump out of bed feeling a lot better.
Living alone is so great I wish everyone would try it at least once in their lives, for as long as possible, endurable, enjoyable. ‘Alone’ means ‘self discovery’. ‘Alone’ means ‘packing light’. ‘Alone’ doesn’t (have to) mean you’re commitment-phobic, picky or selfish.

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