Oga Presido. Via Nigeria Intel
Note: Letter published as written, all apparent errors included.
First of all I hail ooo! I no say u no dey cary last. You be confirm Ijaw pikin. As dat ur middle name ‘Ebele’ mean ‘mercy’ so make u pity ur children settle their lecturers naa!
The matter neva tire u? Suppose say ur pikin wey u born for belle follow us dey house, shey you for never answer we lecturers them? Una say make we bone kidnapping, militant things and all the bad bad things dem go enter school, now na una com dey f**k up. All the things wε?γ we lecturers don teash us for klass we don forget finish. Last last, na una go still call us “half-baked”, “half-roasted”, abi na “half-fried”. Na una sabi!
Dem talk say person no fit run pass him shadow. We dey hea dey watch you. Na ur time be dis, use am well, but we go jam for 2015. U don forget say youths na we dey vote pass abi? Na we sef dey snatch ballot box, dey do rally and som kain kukere things dem wey una dey take win election. U go still nid our help o. That time we sef go go strike. Shebi u sabi waka witout shoe, u go carry ur leg do ur rally. No thug for u. We no go snatch ballot make you for win. If any maga try am we go fall hin hand.
So bro Jona, na ur opportunity be dis o make u code this stubborn ASUU pipu make dem cary their wahala enta class. We no say na rush them go begin rush us but we no send. All join. Na who get leg dey kuku pass exam no be who read. Na still who get leg dey get beta work. Na Naija we dey. So make u do something because our mate dem for private university don graj finish. We don tire to dey beef them. If u no shake bodi fast make u no forget say university of militancy still dey admit dey neva even release 2nd batch ooo!
Abeg try grit maale Patience well well (i thank baba Godee say she and gran papa Soyinka don settle that their quarrel), greet all those bad belle advisers wey u get too, God pass them! Uncle Amaechi still dey Niger-delta here o, hin don tire for ur mata. I dey grit u for am too.
I go stop for here. E go be na.
Naija student for life!
Na ur waffi boy.