A magazine for Africans and friends of Africa...Our Voices, Our Vision, Our Culture

Be a "Bridezilla"
By Gwen Jimmere

Yep, I'm guilty. I admit it. I have indulged in one of my (many) guilty pleasures, 'Bridezillas,' a few times. Now, don't even try acting all bourgeois, because you know you have, too. And even though we sit back and wonder what man in his right mind would marry one of these crazed chicks, with their "I'm all that" attitudes and ridiculous demands for cerulean – not blue – centerpieces, there's a thing or two we can learn from them even before we find the proverbial "one."  
1. Be a S.N.O.B. 
Opt to settle for nothing other than the best when it comes to matters of your heart. Don't worry, that doesn't entail being a pompous, arrogant b&^%$. Instead, it means knowing precisely what you require in a mate and sticking to that ideal. But knowing is half the battle, yes? That brings us to point two. 
2. List Your Demands  
Mariah and Rihanna list their demands at every one of their shows in the form of a "concert rider"-- agreements that each show promoter must adhere to. Guess what? Beyonce ain't the only diva around. Here's what you do: Pull out a piece of paper, grab a pen and write down every single thing you want and need in your soon-to-be-found husband (even if you think it's facetious. FYI: It's perfectly okay to list attractiveness as a requirement). List them out numerically. There doesn't have to be a specific order, just get them on paper. Also, there's no limit, so write to your heart's content. Next, put stars next to those you deem to be of utmost importance (i.e., compassion for your feelings might be starred, while a required height of 6-foot-3 won't be quite as pressing). Notice how many are starred versus those that aren't. The starred ones are must-haves; the unstarred ones are the nice-to-haves. Put it in your wallet and carry it everywhere you go.  
3. Substitutes are Unacceptable 
You require a man who has a bomb relationship with his mother (but isn't a momma's boy), loves kids and is charitable. So hooking up with someone who volunteers at the Special Olympics but hasn't spoken to his mother in three years won't cut it. Some will tell you that you can't expect to find everything you desire in a mate. This is exactly why we have must-haves and nice-to-haves. You can indeed find someone with all the must-haves. Remember, you are a S.N.O.B. and settling for less is for suckers, right?

So, when you meet a guy you're seriously considering, bust out that list and check to see if he possesses all the starred points. If not, keep it moving. Now, if he possesses all the starred ones and some of the unstarred points, watch out, girl! Wedding bells might just be a-ringing. But please do me a favor and don't end up on 'Bridezillas'. I assume no responsibility whatsoever for that fiasco. J