A magazine for Africans and friends of Africa...Our Voices, Our Vision, Our Culture

What Sexy Is
By Gwen Jimmere
 Idris Elba. Boris Kodjoe. Djimon Hounsou. And oooooh…Denzel.


Yes, yes, ya’ll. You know exactly where I’m going with this one.


What woman hasn’t found herself all hot and bothered by these subtly provocative brown-hued brothers? The mischievous eyes, those succulent lips, the chiseled-from-stone jaw-lines. Good grief, just the notion of their touch is enough to get our juices flowing…literally.


Now, I don’t personally know any of the aforementioned sexual pieces of chocolate, but I hope, for their ladies’ sake, that their sexy runs deeper than the surface. While I have met many a fine man in my lifetime, too many of them need to call Timbaland and Justin Timberlake to inquire how to get their sexy back.


My momma always taught me that you need more than good sex to keep a man. In the same vein, a man needs more than good looks to keep his sexy.


We’ve all read many a magazine where they go on and on about how intelligence is sexy, power is admirable, etc.  While unabashedly accurate, this ain’t that kind of article. I’m talking about the nuances, the knowledge possessed, the actions displayed.  Allow me to explain.


One of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen was when my "Techy" boyfriend diagnosed that my car was jerking when I drove because it had too much transmission fluid in it. He removed the whatchamacallit, drained the thingamajig, picked around here, prodded there and poof! like magic, my whip was back to running the way it was supposed to. I realize how simplistic this task sounds, but fellas who actually know “stuff” intrigue me. Maybe because I’ve previously dealt with so many that didn’t even know their right from their left…but I digress.


What I’m saying is that it’s the little things that make a man sexy. Think about it. We all have seen and been turned on by “the walk”—the individually specific way a guy walks can take us from independent Black women to ladies in heat in the blink of an eye.


What about when your man knows he’s finally gotten on your last damn nerve of the day and he sincerely apologizes without coercion and without sarcasm? How sexy is it for a man to admit his wrongs…and without excuses, no less?


When every evening, he begins making your lunch for the next work day because he understands how tired you are from all the recent stress at your job. When he can’t stand that lavender and mustard-colored argyle sweater you bought for him, but he wears it because he knows it make you smile. When he tolerates your gossipy, overly-nosy girlfriends without complaining about them all the time. When you know he loves his mother so much that he has the ability to love you with all his heart, because he’s a man and not a momma’s boy. 


Good looks are great but a good man is even better. Some may opt for one or the other, but not me. Call me greedy, but give me both. I mean seriously, what good is having cake if you can’t eat it too?

 Cover Photo: Cherif Ndiaye